“Am I out of my mind?”

This is the question I find myself asking every night after I cram in another hour of studying for a test. Not even sitting for the CPA exam yet, I find myself memorizing accounting terms and calculations as I lay in bed and I spend my time at work listening to YouTube lectures on “hedging foreign exchange risks on a balance sheet”.

I have traded in my seat at the bar and my Playstation controller for four CPA Review textbooks and the prospect of spending the entire summer at a dining room table.

The feeling I experience while typing that sentence is not one of joy. Such is the life of a late bloomer.

My journey to accounting has been very similar to how I would describe my life in general: traditionally unconventional.

I put in four moderately-challenging years at Arizona State, but I didn’t know if accounting was for me.

After working four years in private accounting, I got my act together, set a solid career path for myself, and started working my butt off to get to my dream job.

I knew that the CPA Exam was always a goal, but an additional $30,000 of student debt for a MACC or an MTAX was not. I was lucky enough to find Another71.com to see how other people navigated the same situation I was in, and finally set my sights on LSU Online.

Since I am the type that of person that acknowledges logic and reason as I go screaming by them like a heat seeker to the land of dumb decisions, I decided to knock out four classes in three months so I can sit for FAR at the end of May.

I have a test every week from now until the end of March, sometimes two in a week.

“Am I out of my freaking mind!?”

I told my girlfriend I wanted to wait on proposing until I had knocked out a good chunk of the CPA exam process. With that, I found my biggest cheerleader, and my harshest critic of study habits. I know she’s right (as always) and that I need to focus, but I am facing a bigger fear than studying for endless hours and doing MCQs until my clicking fingers bleed: failure.

The other side of the coin that motivates me to seek the CPA designation is that if I fail, I accept full responsibility.

I was not pushed in to taking this test, this was my decision.

If I quit on this, or throw in the towel because I can’t dig deep enough, there is no one to blame for failing but me. I know this is going to suck, it already sucks and I haven’t even received my NTS yet.

But if I am going to be the COO of the Los Angeles Rams, I need to suck it up and dig in for the biggest challenge of my life.

It’s me and the CPA, Thunderdome style: two go in, only one comes out.

“I really am out of my freaking mind!!”

You better believe it. And I can’t wait to get started.