Rollie is a NINJA CPA blogger.

NINJAs,

AUD re-studying is going really slow. Really slow. I can make a bunch of excuses, but that is not the voice of someone who wants to be a CPA someday.

After receiving the lowest score of my 3 attempts at Auditing, my anxiety for Prometric has increased significantly.

I have always struggled with anxiety and even had some test anxiety in college (Biology 101 if you know what I mean), but this feels different.

The thought of pouring my sweat and soul and PTO day to spend 3 to 4 hours at Prometric just to see another failing score makes me sick to the stomach. It is hard to fathom the continual outpouring of our non-for-profit’s income into expensive testing fees.

Don’t get me wrong, I have always struggled with going to Prometric and worrying about the score I would receive, but this time it feels like a strong tipping point I cannot seem to shake.

It is resulting in slow progress of re-taking AUD. I know that I want this, but the anxiety is crushing. My wife and I have talked about me even using my work’s EAP program for free counseling.

What is next? I will keep trying to motivate myself to study and hope I “buck-up.” I know first hand that you never say that phrase to people that struggle with anxiety as it usually causes more. I also know, it doesn’t resolve on its own either. Hopefully I can be taking AUD in a few weeks.

Until next time, just keep swimming.